I know it's been a long time...

I know it's been a long time, it's been hectic. I can't help but feel a need to write now.

I just got back from attending my first memorial service since my father's funeral.

It was for a 22 year old German student that was stabbed outside his apartment December 1st.

Thomas Heinrich was a classmate that came to Griffith College for the semester with a small group of students. Tragically he lost his life after getting into a fight with two Irish kids and his friend was injured.

I did not know Thomas but after going to the memorial today I saw how he was. I heard stories, I saw his family and most importantly I saw how many of his fellow classmates showed up. The auditorium was packed full that the staff spent the first 15 minutes getting more chairs. I saw people all around me crying for a man that they have known from the span of the two months to years. I couldn't help but cry myself over the shock, emotion and the pain his family and friends are feeling.

Then his father spoke. He spoke of the pain they were feeling but what amazed me was how his words managed to calm everyone a little. He was sure to tell the people that were there in his sons last moments to not beat themselves up thinking they could have done more. He talked about how while there may be anger to not want revenge. He spoke with such sadness but kindness in his voice that it was calming. It was moving.

I read in a book the following, "when a person dies suddenly, it's because they've completed what they came here to do and have no reason for prolonged illness."

I only got to hear a little of what Thomas did. I heard his teachers talk, his friends and his parents. I saw in the crowd today how many people he managed to touch in the short span we've been here. I like to think of that quote in this moment.

The entire time I sat there I could not help but think, this was not what I anticipated happening when I studied abroad. Time to learn from it I suppose, the biggest thing I've learned is tell everyone I love them constantly.

Classes

I know I haven't updated in forever (which my loving mother reminded me of... 'people are trying to live vicariously through you Nicole!!') but in my defense classes have started.

I am in my third week taking Sports Journalism, TV Journalism, Creative Writing and Film Studies.

Sports Journalism- As I quickly found out here, the reaction does not change much when I tell people I want to go into sports journalism. "Oh, sports, really?!" The look of shock. Then the slight approval I get from some people. I decided to take the class twice to help out with my success in this area. Probably ended up being one of the best choices I've ever made. I have to cover a live match by next week and even though I searched as hard as I could, it seems I'll be writing about soccer... I know it is something I need to learn about but after watching a few games it is still something that I need to get used to. I enjoy the atmosphere and the endurance these players have, however I'm still a little put off by the acting that some players do to get a call... I know I come from a competitive family so maybe I like watching people just pushing it as best as they can (Mom don't even try to argue this with me, we can't go mini golfing without a competition, we are very competitive). However, looking forward to the rest of this class and the many things I will get to learn in it.

TV Journalism- Yeah, misleading. I don't get to learn how to be an anchor or any of that, I get to make a documentary. So what do I choose for my documentary? Sports. After searching and discovering there is no such thing as ice hockey anymore in Ireland, I tried to get into a local field hockey group. Unfortunately it didn't work out so now I get to see if I want to go with a different group or if I look into this Irish American Football League that plays. Yes, there are a great amount of people in Ireland that play American football every weekend... love it. Gotta find out more.

Creative Writing- Not going to lie, glad I enjoy writing because this class can be very dry. Last lecture was spent sending memes to my Uncle CG then random faces to Joe. I'm excited to write some short stories but spending 3 hours on a character and character traits killed me a little. However writing an in class story about a gawky 20-year old college student being found on the streets performing by his judgmental mother because he got kicked out of Canada brought me back to life. Love the class, just need to have a coffee before it.

Film Studies- 9:30AM on a Friday morning. 1 hour power point lecture. Foreign film after. Self explanatory.

Overall I am happy with my schedule though. Late classes (with the exception of Film Studies), once a week, no tests. No finals, just papers. I can deal with it. Have to say it's a great first semester to my senior year.

Just Like Home

It felt like home a little tonight. A bunch of friends, some Guinness, pizza and sports. Except I wasn't watching the games I am used to, I finally got a chance to watch a football match (I am attempting to retrain myself into calling soccer football so I can help out my friends with that difference).

So as I started watching, I listened to the people around me talk about the teams and the facts like I do when I am at home. It was a great feeling but I had to attempt to relearn the game. My friend in high school, Xaiver, played soccer and loved watching it. He would attempt to teach me and I went to watch a few of his games so I understood the main point of it. The entire time I was sitting in the pub tonight I could only think of him and all the talks and lessons we used to have. If I remember correctly he tried to teach me once and I just stared at the ball... my hand-eye coordination is not good enough to do anything like that.

Anyways, I started to get into these games more and soon found myself falling into a familiar pattern.
Drink some beer. Check the other tv. Look back to the first game. Drink some more beer. Grab some pizza. Watch the first game. Hear something happening in the other game so check that tv. Look at the people around me quickly. Drink some more beer. Check my phone for updates.

That last step got me. When I checked my phone I fell back into the pattern I have at home. I get all updates for NHL and NFL to my phone so subconsciously I was waiting for the alert. I did get some alerts... Sadly I saw the notification from the NHL. Ovechkin signed with Moscow. Then I looked at the NFL app only to see the Giants play tomorrow (Friday 130AM Irish Time). Another game I will have to stay updated through SportsCenter notifications.

Even though I am still really upset about the NHL and the fact I can't watch the Giants play, I think after tonight I am ready to throw myself into football (soccer). It is interesting to watch and the environment I am in makes it easier to get sucked in. Granted I still have my moments I don't understand it. For instance after Chelsea and Juventus started shaking hands at the end of a 2-2 game I now know not to turn to the guys and go "Is is done?" Call it the competitive person in me but I like to see a winner and loser so the tie doesn't work for me. And now I also know that the football players get a lot of ankle injuries... a lot. It makes it my multiple sprained ankles look like nothing.

I know this isn't a huge culture difference, we have soccer at home. However I forget about it all the time. I told them my university did not have soccer... then after a minute I realized we do, not many people go to see the games though. I grew up in a football town then moved to a huge hockey area. I suppose living in a football (soccer) area is the next step in the my sporting life.

Lessons

Lesson One. Dublin wins for the worst shower I have ever been in. Not to sound horrible and whiny but I can take a shower and pretty much sit on the toilet at the same time. It is very tiny. However it is something I am getting used to and I just wipe up all the water on the ground after I'm done and know how not to hit my elbows on the wall.

Lesson Two. Check my adapter before traveling to a foreign country. Just because it says it will fit in all European sockets, Ireland chooses to be different. Part of why I love it.

Lesson Three. Weigh my bags before I go to the airport or I will be leaving jeans at home and carrying my pillow on each flight. Which reminds me I need to change the pillow case... sorry Mom.

Lesson Four. Be prepared to not know what people are saying half the time. I may know German by the end of this trip. And even though the Irish people speak English, the accent is so heavy.

Lesson Five. People will buy a lot of drinks for you. Be prepared to smile and nod when you can't understand what the Irish man is saying but he is holding out a pint of Guinness for you. As I discussed with CG I may have agreed to marry him. Oh well.

Lesson Six. Also, call it a pint. If you ask for a glass of Guinness you will get half a pint and then have a Irish man make fun of you for having a baby Guinness. However that will then get you free drinks since you don't know how to order correctly... so choose what you want to do wisely.

Lesson Seven. Be prepared not to sleep. Jet lagged the first day. After that apparently Europeans stay out until 5 AM. Plattsburgh did not prepare me for this by closing at 2. I am so tired and apparently need to step up my game.

Lesson Eight. Be ready for no one to care about American Football or Hockey... so when the lockout happens and you are swearing at your phone you may get confused looks. Or on a Sunday when your phone goes off with Giants notifications just be ready to try to explain why you are so excited or upset. Luckily I have nice friends that listen to me go off about all of these things and attempt to talk to me about it. It is so kind since I am just learning soccer/football.

Lesson Nine. Be ready for some people to go crazy when you say you are from New York and then you need to explain you are from the state and live in a town 2 hours outside of it... and go to school by Canada...

Lesson Ten. Live every moment to the fullest.
Going out late, small showers, figuring out the transportation (which I did so take that family), having to play Netflix constantly since the school won't provide TV (Thanks Joe), meeting some amazing people, fighting a hangover to you can travel to a beautiful town, getting over anxiety.
All of it.
Live every moment to the fullest because I will never have that day back again.
Travel while I can, eat stuff I may not have eaten before, talk to people even if I look like a stupid American.
Do it all.
That lesson is different, I didn't teach that to myself. I learned all of that from my Dad. I can say every moment I have been here I have thought 'what would Dad do' and I do it. Maybe that is why I am so open and ridiculous.

And so Orientation begins tomorrow. When I will have to remember all of this and go into a room with people I don't know and hope to not get too much of an anxiety attack. It will be fine though, after all I have my new friends and the people from home on my mind. I'm just ready to learn more lessons.

Omaha! Omaha!

It started last night.
The anxiety.
The dedication to a few hours in front of the TV.
The random outbursts that make my dog jump.
The blowing up of my Twitter feed from my friends that watch.
The blowing up of my phone with trash talk from friends (yes Kevin, I'm calling you out).
The mocking of how Eli Manning yells Omaha before almost every play.
The NFL 2012-2013 Season.

As I watched my freaking Giants lose the opener against one of our biggest rivals, the Cowboys, I could not help but think of a few things:

One- This is the first season without my Dad. He was the man that shaped me into the football fanatic I am now. He was the guy I would call before every game to hear him yell "Let's go Big Blue". He's the one person I would break my 'no texting during the game' rule so we  could discuss why the hell they keep running the ball. Yes, technically I had to go through the Super Bowl without him but that was too soon after and I was surrounded by the perfect group of people that made me forget all about it. This was the first time I was home in the place where we used to sit together, yell together, celebrate together. It was interesting. It was heartbreaking. It was therapeutic. It was a good way to start the season (even though they did not win) and I know that home is the only place I would have wanted to kick off this year without my Dad.

Two- Ugh, rant time. The defense seemed to be sleeping, the offense was not too bad but not the way they were Super Bowl time and of course the running game. I understand the concept, maybe a little too well. Dad and I used to make fun of it; Run, run, throw/run, punt. That seems to be all that happens with them. It's like they think every time they get the ball THIS is going to be the time. Obviously not. Bradshaw seems to like to run laterally. He goes to the side to find the opening then gets stuck and we gain nothing. Yes, he has his times where he breaks through and makes an amazing run. It does not happen every time though. That is the one thing I miss about Jacobs, yeah he was not as good as Bradshaw but that man put his head down and just went. He would carry 5 other players on his back before they could get him down.

Three- The issue with the officials. Honestly I thought they did pretty well for being new to the NFL. Yeah there were a lot of flags, hello the teams were making stupid mistakes. I guarantee a majority of the calls were for holding, offsides and delay of game. Stupid mistakes made by both sides and all the calls made perfect sense. Yeah it seemed like every three second because it was! The players really were making stupid mistakes almost every play, I thought they all deserved to be called.

Four- I love my family. In my immediate family a majority of us like the Giants. I may have some uncles that are silly and like other teams (Sorry Matt and George) but we respect it. My second cousins (or something, who knows I just call them cousins) love the Steelers but we just agree to disagree since we agree on hockey. Out of all this family I cannot help but be super jealous of a few though. My younger cousins (16, 14 and 11...I think. Sorry Lunds) got to go to the game last night. Let's take a second for this. I am almost 21, been watching the Giants all my life, followed it intensely for a good amount of year and want to go into Sports Journalism. Never been to a game in my life. Sure my Dad used to go with his friends and had a ticket but he brought my younger brother. I think they drank, smoke and swore too much that Dad didn't want to take his "little girl" around. Therefore I've never gone. These little munchkins (who I remember being born) got to go before me. The sports gods hate me basically.

All in all it's the start. Yes we lost but I mean if we all remember correctly the Giants were horrible until the last few weeks last season. I remember perfectly- it was a Redskins game, Week 15, my Dad went to it and they lost HORRIBLY. That was the last game they lost, they went on a great winning streak after it. Dad was PISSED. So yes, the defending champions lost to their rivals for the season starter. It's just the start. Hopefully I'll be able to get these games in Ireland...

Different Faces of Journalism

My mom and I have been watching the new series on HBO, The Newsroom, for the past few weeks since I came home. The speed and real feeling of the show has brought me in and shown me a different side of journalism. It shows a cable newsroom trying to present the news that needs to be known (National debt, elections, social problems) instead of the news that will bring in the ratings (Casey Anthony, political sex scandals, etc.) It shows the anchors, production team, reporters, researchers, bloggers and so on. While we were watching some of the old episodes tonight my mom asked me an interesting question; would I want to do this type of news?

I've thought about some of the different sides of journalism; television, radio personality, newspaper/magazine, entertainment and photo. After going through a very helpful journalism class last semester I decided I would not be able to do photo. Taking a picture that would push my boundaries of whether or not I could publish it, is not a struggle I can do daily. Radio never stood out to me so I did not look into it as much. Entertainment... this is a part of journalism that can be questioned of whether or not it belongs. As entertaining as it would be meeting movie stars and musicians, that is not the line of work I want to be in. That leaves two options: newspaper or television.

Television... I never pictured myself as being a person that would be on camera. I think I would do fine but it's just not what I wanted to be when I grew up. The people behind the scenes though... the reporters in the show that get the quotes and do the research, I feel like my whole life has been preparing me for that job. Being an English Literature major I do a lot of research and I truly enjoy it, so why not be a part of something that will possibly be around longer than newspapers at the rate technology is moving us.

Newspapers... Always been a dream of mine; writing about something and seeing it in print for people to read. The issue from here is what type of writing would I want to do. I am planning for sports journalism as I stated in my last post. It is something that appeals to me and I can see myself doing for a job. The only other type of journalism I can picture is being an overseas correspondant. War journalist. Right in the action. My mother automatically tried to take me off this idea the one time I mentioned it. That is also the only way I would be on camera to recant my earlier statement. I watch documentaries about war and troops all the time, that is something else I would do. It is an interesting thing that appeals to me, I know sometimes I do not know how it catches my interest. I do not like gory things, I am not super vocal about any ideals on war or military. It is just something that came into my head one day and no matter how much I think I'll be writing about a football game, a little voice pops in and reminds me of this.

So as I come onto my senior year with a English Literature major and Journalism minor I have to start making choices. What part of journalism will I go into? Should I bother with graduate school (realistically if I graduate college and cannot write interesting pieces, is that something I can learn)? Will I try right for a big sports group? Should I try just a local newspaper (or maybe TV station) and work my way up? Should I move to wherever I can find a job, even if it is a great deal away? I guess that is something I hope to learn over this next year since I will start needing answers soon!

Girl trying to make it in the sport's world

I was a competitive gymnast for 12 years of my life. I began when I was 2 and quit once I started high school.
I played softball for a good number of years in a league outside of school. I may not have been the best but I was part of the team.
I did the church basketball scene from 7 until my last year in high school. I popped my shoulder out at a practice and outside sports were soon banned by my school sport.
I enjoyed tennis throughout a summer or two, along with golf lessons. I went to the driving range a lot with my dad and still enjoy to go once in a while.
I snowboard (not the best) and push myself to try it even though it usually ends in injuries.
Lastly I am a cheerleader. After quitting gymnastics my mother wanted me to stay active so I cheered 3 years in high school and then 2 in college.

This last part of my sporting career puts me in a group. Girls (and boys!) that many other athletes and society do not take seriously. When "cheerleader" is heard stereotypical ideas come into many people minds. Mindless girls that care too much about a sport that many deem a club activity. Girls that are catty and weak. It is because of this when I wear my PSU CHEER shirt and announce I want to enter sports journalism I get blank stares.

Sports journalism is a field that is competitive for women to begin with. It is common to see females more but there are still issues behind the scenes. I was sent a meme the other day of a female reporter interviewing the US Men's Swimming team with a caption implying that the men are the reason why she is doing her job. Issues like these are found both in society and in the field and an issue I am ready to deal with. On top of that I have the cheerleader stereotype following me around in this job. I have had people already question my motives in wanting to do this job.

My motives for doing sports journalism are simple. I love sports. I love football and hockey (Giants and Penguins all the way). I would love to be able to write about what I love. I will not be writing about about how attractive the players are or who has the best hair that day. The reason I want to write is because of the team aspect. A group of people relying on each other to reach a common goal.
I've been in that situation in most of the sports I have done. In gymnastics my score would help my team win the overall. In softball I had to pay attention or else the ball may fly on by me. In basketball my shooting and passing would help us pull ahead. Lastly in cheerleading I was needed. If I was not there 3 other people in my stunt group would be out. A pyramid may not be able to go up. So while we may not have been a "sport" there was not doubt we were a team. It is that bond that is intriguing and makes me want to explore it more. The statistics and individual players are facts that need to be known because they are part of the team. It is all of this that will drive me to succeed in a world where I may be told I do not belong.

The Beginning- First thoughts on school

So the end has begun- my senior year of college.
Unlike my friends attending classes at this moment I am sitting watching The Office for the umpteenth time, deciding to finally start my blog and looking at my disorganized room. My senior year does not start for 16 more days when I will say goodbye to my family and step on a plane to head to Dublin for 3 months. I've decided to spend my first semester of my senior year studying abroad instead of going to the bars up in Plattsburgh with my friends.

Studying abroad was a big decision that came with a lot of hesitation and anxiety. Despite all of this I made the choice to go for several different reasons:

• I did not want to graduate in December, might as well stretch it out as long as I can
• I mean who wouldn't want to go to a place overseas for an extended amount of time and just live life
• It is what my dad would have loved to see me do. Before he passed away he made sure to tell me to take advantage of any opportunity I can, he wanted so much more for us
• I need this. I need the chance to see what it would be like to be completely independent and live on my own before I have to in the real world

My family supported me throughout high school and when I went away to college in Upstate New York they were still there for me. If I needed to escape for the weekend my aunt was close and my hometown only a few hours further. If I wasted my money on silly decorations or clothing I always had the option to call Mom up and ask nicely for her help. That is no longer, I am going overseas and taking out loans putting myself in charge of my life. I need to grow up and start living like I am going to in a few months. 

So this is it. I will leave behind my mother, sister, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and boyfriend. I will have to celebrate not only my 21st birthday in a country whose drinking age is 18, but also the first Thanksgiving without my father. I will have milestones in a foreign place with the hope I'll have friends by that point... I could not be more excited. I get the chance to do what not many people do. I get the chance to just live my life. I (hopefully) get the chance to enter the sports journalism program in Dublin and start my dreams. I get the chance to meet new people and just be me all over again. I get the chance to live in a different country without my safety net. 

This is all something I cannot wait to do and these 16 days need to go by faster.